one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they’d have jobs throughout the show’s entire run… but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.
and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week… for twenty or thirty years… and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can’t stop thinking about it. it’s indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
can you imagine.
[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy– there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]
“Since the Disney version of this embroidery machine was on sale and therefore cheeper, uh, it came with a Lightning McQueen pattern. And here I have rainbow thread. I would like to make a homosexual Lightning McQueen, please.
Oh..my goodness! Technology is absolutely incredible. Here’s where it might get lost because this is supposed to be a shading layer but I’m just gonna do more rainbow.
The eyes have been embroidered and, unfortunately, he is now recognizable.
(holding back laughter) I didn’t notice this little squiggle. It embroidered the Disney Pixar trademark!
I never knew I had it in me… to shitpost…with my embroidery machine…until now. Cachow homophobes. This is trademarked. It’s canon now.”
Isn’t there a scene where they are getting ready to do a concert and backstage there are a bunch of different shells and like starfish and stuff? One of the sisters has a makeup box that is a clamshell? I guess mermaids don’t give a fuck about clams?
“They took our land, they imprisoned our queen, they banned our language, they forcibly made us a colony of the United States. America says they are democratic, that is a lie! They have never been democratic with Native people! They have never been democratic with Indians! They have never been democratic with Hawaiians!”
[VD:
Close up video of Haunani-Kay Trask in 1993 speaking into a microphone wearing a Haku Lei.
“We are not American! We are not American! We are not American! We are not American! Say it in your hearts, say it when you sleep. We are not American! We will die as Hawaiians, we will never be Americans!
The Americans, my people, are our enemies and you must understand that: they are our enemies. They took our land. They imprisoned out queen. They banned our language. They forcibly made us a colony of the United States. America always say they are democratic, lies! That is a lie! They have never been democratic with native people, they have never been democratic with Indians, they have never been democratic with Hawaiians.
[CROWD CHEERS]
The United States of America is the most powerful imperialist country in the world, in the world! They control the United Nations, they control the Pacific Ocean. All these nuclear submarines, circulating throughout the Pacific. The United States of America is a death country. It gives death to native people, and the only way to fight the United States of America is to be political! Kaua! Kaua! Kaua! Fight! Fight! Fight!
